Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

What happens if someone fills up their car at the pump but leaves without paying? How is this situation typically handled?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

The sadness was still there.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Do girls ever miss their first love?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Is it okay for a wife who comes home from a date to tell her husband what she did?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

And the sadness?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Is having white skin really that attractive?

I had run out of hope.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

If you get a chance to have sex with either Kajal Agarwal or Samantha, who would you choose and why?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

You are like me, then.

Big Tech Is Back in S&P 500 Driver’s Seat as Profit Engines Hum - Bloomberg

I was tired of fighting.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Wing and Walmart are bringing drone delivery to 100 new stores - The Verge

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Judge denies Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ second request for mistrial, likens cross-examination to ‘Perry Mason moment’ - CNN

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Be who you already are.

Has a conversation with someone who holds opposing political views ever caused you to change your own beliefs?

It’s still here.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.